Ponds to Ponder

Ceddy's Random

Hello Everyone! Ceddy here and I am back again for another blog. 

I've been focusing on my vlog lately and missed writing new content. But anyway, I am trying to bounce back in writing again.

There's a lot that I've been pondering lately. Starting from My career, personal growth, love, and finances.

I don't know where to start to write this content, but let me try. To begin with, I've been working in the Middle East - here in Abu Dhabi for 6 years. For the past 6 years of working in retail. The daily routine that I've been doing is just the same 6x in a week. And I asked myself, Do I even have to do this for the rest of my life? I've been applying from other companies not related to the retail sector. Fortunately, I passed the exams but I always refused their offer letter since a competitive amount of salary.

Career

It seems that the offer letter is not really competitive especially that it's pandemic and it's 2021. I didn't regret that I've been in the company for more than 6 years now. However, Most of my colleagues who left the company founded another job and were able to get a higher and competitive salary. And, while I'm here, stuck with the same salary and same position. I ask myself, Where did I go wrong? It's easy for them to find a job and a good offer letter but, I'm here trying but epic failure in the end.

Despite these unprecedented times, I am still grateful that I have a job. I have money to save for my future and to send money to my Auntie in the Philippines.

Personal Growth

Let's talk about my personal growth. Living and working alone far away from my Family is quite challenging. But as time goes by, I was able to stand out and moved out of my comfort zone. My personal capability to leave and work alone was, even more, better and I don't have the fear that I cannot do it without depending on others. Being matured enough to think about the important decisions and doing the things that I loved the most really changed the quality of my life. 

Love

Writing this topic, reminisced about my relationship way back in high school. If you may be asked, what is my orientation, Yes, I am Gay, proud to be a member of the LGBTQ community.   But during in Highschool fell in love with a girl. Yes, I am Gay. But in high school, I was a bit confused about my sexual orientation. Then in college, I figured out that YES!. I am Gay. Our relationship didn't last up. Only a couple of months. I tried to fit in with my so-called "society", to prove to them that I am not gay and I have a girlfriend. But then again, I learned that You don't have to prove yourself to others. You don't have to please everyone. I am just being myself and It'll be good to know who's down for that.

Our relationship lasts up for a couple of months. For somehow, there are sometimes that I missed her and when we see each other and go on for a date, I get "Kilig" ofcourse. Hahaha. Enough of it. Lol. 

My Auntie is always asking me if when I'm getting married. Before I am ignoring her but the older I get, The pressure is surreal. She still on the level of denial that I am not gay and I am straight, and I totally understand. She always compares me to my other relative. One of our close relatives whom I called Uncle is Gay but was married and with 3 children. She always compares me to Him, that no matter what's my sexual orientation, I should get married and give offspring.*that cringes me to the bone (LOL).

But anyway, I don't want to disappoint my Auntie, especially that she is old now. And I considered that since she wants to become a grandma too. Let's see, and hoping for the best. 

Finances

Finances. Ah, working abroad means supporting my Auntie way back in the Philippines. My salary abroad is not much and if you compare working in the Philippines this present time, you can totally get this type of offer especially if you are targeting some jobs in Business Process Outsourcing Sector.

Sometimes, I'm thinking, what if I didn't accept this offer way back in 2015 and took the other job offer? I guess I've been promoted now and got an increment. 

What if I don't have to pay the rent and do need to send money to my country? I guess, I already saved a lot of money and traveled to other countries. 

What if? What if?

Ugh. But that is Life. I am matured enough to think about my responsibilities. Some People became successful at a very young age in their 20's, some are 30's. 

Working abroad is no joke and a lot of sacrifices just to aim for that dream. I may not be rich working a long time abroad but I am grateful that at least I have some savings and as a responsible mature human being.

And that's a wrap!

I hope you guys enjoy reading this content. 

See you next time!